Just heard someone on the radio say “if you’re having trouble sleeping, just join the military, they teach you how to sleep anywhere” and it really has similar vibes to that post that’s like “just get pregnant and you’ll see who your real friends are”
“If you’re curious about an afterlife, die”
I´m sorry, but I have to reword this ¨If you´re curious about the afterlife
i mean you could also ask dad, but that would… be pretty much the same result now that i think about it.
In Grímnismál, Odin states, “Never a single name have I had since first I fared among men.” And indeed, we have a very large number that are attested, as well as many that have no doubt been lost to time.
One of the more well known heiti is Hrafnaguð, the Raven God. In turn, his blood brother Loki is called Gammleið, “the vulture’s path.”
Because of Odin’s connection with ravens as well as his role of selecting those slain on the battlefield for an afterlife in Valhalla, I propose that it is feasible, perhaps even likely, for Odin to have been named “the raven’s path” by viking age skalds.
Another notable name is the one commonly used for him: Odin. The word it most likely derives from, óðr, is usually associated with ritual ecstasy and battle frenzy, but it could potentially extend to other forms of “madness.” For example, of his twin ravens, Huginn and Muninn, traditionally translated as “thought” and “memory”, Odin states, “I fear more for Muninn.” He embodies anxiety about not only the temporary abandonment of ritual or battle, but also a more permanent loss of history and self.
One final aspect of Odin that his heiti point to but is rarely explored is his connection to the night and blackness. He is Fjölnir, concealer, Herblindi, blinder of hosts, and Tvíblindi, twice blind. He is Grímnir, the hooded one. He presides over Yule, the longest night. Ravens are so closely associated with their color that the word is used as a synonym for black. And according to folklore, he notably rides forth with his forces, known today as the Wild Hunt only between sunset and dawn.
So basically, it’s 100% lore compliant to say that Odin is Ebony Darkness Demtia Raven Way.
I can’t believe you did this and am utterly torn between impotent fury and seizing hilarity. Wow. Wow.
why have the multiply-cursed, shabby, jackal-laughing PACK of you CONSPIRED to put this in front of my eyeballs so many times that I was FORCED TO READ IT TO THE END.
perfect timing for this post showing up but Mr. Sax invented a bunch of other instruments (including ones that had a run but didn’t really stick around) but y’all wanna see one of his failed inventions?
behold, the fucking valved trombone
That’s not an instrument, that a section of plumbing
perpendicular honk engine
His mother once said that “he’s a child condemned to misfortune; he won’t live.”
Mormons have some kind of list of which houses NOT to stop at; they will pass you by when they are out doing their missionary thing.
From the corner window, I saw two young guys in the white shirts and the ties walking up the block towards my sidewalk. Then they passed by and went up to the next house.
I assume it’s because I engaged the last pair of Mormon missionaries with questions: why no one ever told them the truth about old Joe Smith who was a conman arrested twice in New York before he invented Mormonism, why a supposed divinely-inspired text would be full of untruths about Native Americans, how old Joe Smith’s doctrine of religious polygamy was an attempt to bamboozle people who thought he was immoral for marrying several young girls …
I also assume they reported my questions back to their mission leader and he (well, it would be a he, wouldn’t it, knowing Mormon views of women in leadership) must have put my address on a no-go list to avoid the chance that I might contaminate the faith of a future Mormon.
Poor kids. They are lied to their whole lives. Poor me, I missed my chance to enlighten a couple of ‘em.
LOL They absolutely do X your house. My dad was a shift worker and they once woke him up about 30 minutes after he’d gone to bed. He answered the door, naked as the day he was born and furious, and threatened to strangle them all with their ties. They never ever returned–and my parents lived in that house for 25 years.
oh lord what a great story! Glad I wasn’t there to see it, though 🍑
Piling on:
I lived for a while in a communal household with a bunch of people who rescued animals, and for a while we had this incredibly sweet Burmese python named Dolores that we were caring for. She rebounded from neglect very quickly and was basically a joyful and energetic bundle of sunshine, but she’d had mites and they were hard to get rid of. Treatment includes coating the snake with olive oil and waiting an hour, which causes the mites to suffocate. Now, it’s not a good idea to put an eleven-foot long greased snake into a glass habitat, so the best bet was to hold her for the hour. This was a formidable task, as Dolores weighed almost seventy pounds, but as i am a robust and muscular individual i stripped down to my underpants, picked up Dolores, and went about my business in a very slippery and greasy way (i was test-fitting new fangs for halloween).
Which was when the mormons stopped by. My housemates had seen them from the front windows, which was why they insisted i answer the door.
Me, befanged, mohawked, tattooed, pierced, greased, naked except for a ripped and sagging pair of drawers and an enthusiastic and friendly seventy-pound oily snake: hi!
Dolores, who was really having such an awesome day: new friends? yes? hello? you have treats?
Mormons: sorry wrong house. (they actually turned whiter i did not think that would have been possible)
Me (to housemates): keep an eye out for the assembly of god folks, okay? we might as well do this right.
One of my SCA buddies was dressed to go to an event when the Mormons knocked. He answered the door in his black, hooded cloak, long knife strapped on, and then looked back and called, “Brothers! The sacrifices have arrived!”
As you might imagine, those were the last Mormons he ever saw at that house.
I got X’d by the mormons because they thought I was summoning a demon (long and complicated story).
My mother got X’d by the mormons for accepting their free Book of Mormon, reading it and then, very politely, over tea, pointing out every single theological inconsistency in it. (This is not the only time my plump, under 5′ mother destroyed men in theological discussion. She had a degree…)
Thus, the Lord sent Mormon missionaries into the land. But if you take a lamb and cover the posts of your door with its blood, and the width of your shoulders with a python, the Mormons shall pass over you, and you shall be spared.
All of this makes me wish that more missionaries came ringing at my door.
QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?
QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?
QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?
– I have clinical depression.
– I’m ready to be productive!
QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?
– I try to do things to the best of ability.
– I am willing to bleed for you.
QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?
QUESTION 6: Please attach your resumé as a PDF.
QUESTION 7: Please type your entire resumé into the text box below (1000 character limit).
Variously Backup 