it’s a little late….. but here goes. A letter to those who didn’t get the chance to see me now.
Dear grandmas’ Vivian, Tookie, and GGM Johnson,
I wish you could see the man I am growing up into. I know…. you expected to hear ‘woman’, but, you see…. things have changed. I have changed. I am transgendered and identify as male. My new name Is Edgar Vallad Alexander Dunn and I could not be happier with the decisions I’ve made so far in forming my own self. I stand taller, I feel more confident, I’m less self-deprecating and I feel, in general, better now than I ever recall feeling when you all were alive. I’m happy being myself for the first time in a very long time and to top it off I have friends and family who are all being supportive and helping me on the days when I still doubt myself. I…. well… I hope, wherever you are in the afterlife, that you can look at me with pride and happiness. I hope that when we eventually meet again you’ll be happy to meet the man your grandson has become. I know change is hard, probably more for the deceased (or maybe less so, I dunno), but I really hope you all are happy that I am finally okay being me. It’s been a long road, and I’m still stumbling sometimes, but I’m making it and I’m not making compromises for anyone.
Coming out is never easy — and when you’re coming out to someone who’s more than 60 years your senior, there’s more to overcome than in the usual “here, Grandma, let me explain the internet” conversation. But when 11-year-old Gavin Cueto told his grandma that he’s transgender, it was surprisingly smooth sailing. In fact, Nana Elaine puts any tired stereotype about close-minded older folks to shame.
Happy (Inter)National Coming Out Day, shapeshifters.
If you’re out: thank you. A real, personal thank you. It makes a difference.
If you’re just coming out: welcome! And congrats. You picked a hard time to do it, and we’re proud of you. Find your people, find support. You’re in good company, and there’s more of us than you think.
If you’re in: This is your permission to stay in. We’re here, we’re out, you can see us, and if you’re ever ready, come on out. And if you’re not ready, don’t.
Whether you’re in, out, or slouched fashionably in the doorway, you’re all eligible to enter our sixteenth and seventeenth donor-funded giveaways. Your friends and allies all across the world dropped some cash into our virtual fund-a-giveaway bucket to make this happen. They’re pretty awesome that way.
The winners of this giveaway will each receive one Shapeshifters crop top custom-print binder (worth $55). (That’s a binder with any four-way stretch fabric under $16 from here!)
Thank you always for spreading the word, telling your friends, reblogging, posting selfies, doing photoshoots(!), writing fanfic and novels(!!), and, of course, for your amazing direct support — of us and of each other. We couldn’t do this without you.
I shot the Kavanaugh protests this morning for NPR, and this is the photo that will always stick with me. I walked up to her after, needing her name for the photo but knowing it was a terrible time to ask. When I asked, she ignored me and said, “How are we going to find the strength to keep fighting?” I was speechless. She said, “Are we going to be out here for another 30 years? I don’t have 30 years left.”
Variously Backup 