i knew in the 2nd grade that standardized testing was bullshit. harry potter book 4 had just come out and i was at a good part. harry had just put his name into the goblet of fire.
during the standardized test, we were allowed to keep a post-test book on our desk. i diligently got started on part 1: english. at the time, all of the answers went on the same sheet, but all of the questions were in different booklets. so i finish all my english questions, read in my extra time, and then it’s part 2: math.
i realize i have answered all of my english questions on the math portion of the answer sheet. at first, annoyed but undeterred, i’m like. okay great i gotta erase every bubble. but i get bored around question 5 of doing this because… like… harry potter is sitting on my desk and i could just give them the wrong answers. so i answer maybe 10 whole questions in the math portion, copy the english answers over to where they actually belong, and then crack open the book and call it a day.
i obviously failed. this is the real life, not a movie. my parents were called in. i had scored in the lowest percentile. i was bad at math. i was concerningly bad at math. i could have done better just guessing than how i did with the english answers.
if this was just a funny story, someone would ask me “why did you do so badly when you usually get fairly average grades” and i would have said “i wanted to read harry potter, not take this stupid test.” but it’s the real life, and nobody asked. instead, i was branded stupid and bad at math. i got placed in a lower math than i needed to be in; got bored, stopped paying attention. knew i was in the “worst at math” group, started saying “i’m bad at math” and 100% stopped trying because the further i fell behind, the worse i got. through the rest of my academic career – until senior year in high school, i never got above a c on a math test, because i was “just bad” at math.
i had undiagnosed adhd. the only reason i know now i have adhd is because at 22 years old, i finally went to a therapist, who effectively said, “are you kidding me you have the most obvious case of attention deficit i’ve ever seen.”
but nobody had been looking. my one test grade had given teachers permission to not look, because, obviously, i was bad at math. the one time i got 100% on a math test – that one time in senior year – i remember my math teacher looking at it and saying “it’s clear that if you just focused, you could do the work.”
in college i’d take a math class and i actually “just focused” for the first time in my life – meaning i treated math as a challenge, but one i could overcome with the skills i’d learned all on my own, through constant work and practice. i got the highest grade in my class. i still think i’m bad at math.
which makes me wonder: how many people got fucked over because of something stupid like “i was too preoccupied with harry potter”. who had nobody looking out for them. who slipped under the radar because – come on, aren’t some people just bad at things?
they even made a point to mention how it was fucked up how the villains were dark skinned and the main cast all white in the movie . they really want to see their series done right
Sometimes as someone who is stuck in one spot, it can be hard to feel connected to your gods/goddesses/deities. However, it’s not as hard as you may think to find some solid methods! Please note that your deities understand your situation and don’t expect you to suffer for them or consistently do things for them!
Burn candles or incense that remind you of them. If you are
unable to do this, try an oil diffuser or room spray.
Use blankets, sheets, pillows, etc. that have colors you
associate with them.
Make an online devotional blog or altar. I do this [X]
Chat with other people who work with them.
If your body is okay with it, eat foods that are sacred/connected
to them.
Hang pictures or decorations that correspond with their
sacred animals, plants, or what lessons or teachings they present to you.
Write devotional poetry, or make drawings for them.
Draw sigils for them and hang them on your walls, ceiling, or
put under your mattress.
Find a stuffed animal that you feel captures their essence or
reminds you of them, and hold it close when you need the support.
Research them/browse their tag on tumblr.
Keep stones and crystals you associate with them near you –
on a bedside table or under your pillow.
Use astral travel or dream magic to connect with them.
Listen to music that makes you feel closer to them.
Watch shows or movies that remind you of them.
Pray to them, talk to them, write them a letter. Stay in
communication with them, especially in times of need.
Meditate.
Drink something warm or cool that helps you connect with
them.
Make a spell bottle/jar that you feel captures their essence.
Charge during good days, use for connection and support during the not-so-good
days.
Make emoji spells to feel more connected to them.
Expose yourself to natural light (or gentle artificial light)
or complete darkness, depending on the deity.
Again, please note that you don’t need to do anything to be connected to your gods/goddesses/deities. They know and understand what you are going through, and are patient.
Botham Jean NEVER had a single ticket, a single arrest, a single conviction, or even a single behavioral note in college.
Not one. Ever.
For the police and media to attempt to insult his character and integrity today is a [predictable] disgrace.
Why are police investigating the victim and not the drunk cop who executed an innocent man?
Wow!
Unbelievable. Call Dr Baden. I’m sure not one strand of his hair tests positive for drugs. Everyone involved in this attempted cover up will burn in hell. Burn.
This our brother..Let’s pass the word n protect his image.
Devi: Shh! Did everybody hear that? Do you know what that sound was?
Jimmy: What?
Devi: That was the sound of my patience shattering into a billion little pieces.
Dillon: *to Krik* A guy walked up to me and asked if you were my friend. He shook his head and said ‘I’m so sorry’ when I said yes. What the fuck did you do?
Variously Backup 